Slim Pet Challenge goes to the dogs

So I didn't win the Slim Pet Challenge. But in all fairness, no cat did. The whole challenge went to the dogs. Honestly, I'm more interested in staring out the window than talking about dogs.



What were we talking about? Oh yes, Dogs. Two dogs were declared winners of the Slim Pet Challenge. Sadie, a labrador who was signed up for the challenge by Paws Claws and All Animal Clinic in Missouri City, lost 25 pounds. Lenox, another labrador who was signed up by Corinth Veterinary Clinic in Corinth, lost 11 pounds.

Need I remind you that in the same period I lost three ounces! And I'm a cat. Weight loss is much much harder for cats. We reserve all our energy for mental supremacy, not jumping around every time a minion walks in the room.

Nonetheless, even though the challenge is over, I will continue to allow my servants to feed me the weight loss food. Because let's face it, at the end of the day, I'll do anything to make them stop annoying me.

Slim Pet Challenge: 0, TC: 1

The Slim Pet Challenge ended yesterday. After six months of food restriction, I lost a grand total of three ounces. I weighed 14.5 pounds back on December 15. Six weeks ago, I managed to get down to 14.2 pounds, and, my minions, that is the weight I have remained at. In other words, I have maintained my new lower weight for six weeks, which is quite an accomplishment. While I still fall into the "bigger is beautiful" category of feline, I think I have arrived at my happy weight. I will be keeping up with my food restriction on a permanent basis so I can stay at this weight, but it will be nice to spend less time worrying about my weight and get back to all the more important things I have to do. Like:




But do not panic, minions. I will still share my adventures with you and update you on any future weight loss. And of course, when I make my TV debut, you will all hear about it.

Don't mess with the bull...

You'll get the horns. Or at least that's a quote from one of my female servant's favorite movies. (She has really annoying taste.)

Remember the Animal Planet film shoot I mentioned last week? Well, after the camera crews left, the real show went down. The little upstart meow wasn't exactly thrilled about my return to the castle from my extended sojourn at the country house. In fact, she was downright territorial.


Luckily my favorite male servant broke up the fight before anything horrible could happen, but I'd like to issue a warning in picture form to the little upstart meow for if she ever tries to mess with me again. Here it goes:

I'm a star.

Well, minions, the world has finally figured out the smart thing to do with a feline as fantastic as me. Put me on television, of course. Just look at how unbelievably photogenic I am:



A crew from Animal Planet was here to film me last week so soon you'll see my beautiful face all over your television, thus helping me achieve my goal of total media domination.

Next stop: Total world domination.

Truer words were never written.

While one of my servants was out shopping, she spotted this sign:




Minions, truer words were never written. Which reminds me...

Servants, I need fresh food and water and a clean litter box. NOW!

I am very busy.

Let's get physical.

Tomorrow is May 15, which means there is only one more month until the Slim Pet Challenge ends on June 15. With that milestone approaching, I have spent the past week (since I noted that laying in bed was my favorite activity) diligently exercising to maximize my weight loss efforts. That routine is how in one week I was able to go from this:




To this:





HAHAHAHA!



Oh minions, I crack myself up. I am hilarious. That second photo is just a manipulation in Photoshop, which I am very skilled in despite lacking opposable thumbs. (Proof once again, that I am better than you minions at everything.)

Cats are supposed to be lazy.

When I first moved to the castle about a year ago, I weighed 14.5 pounds. Now, after having my diet sadistically monitored on the Slim Pet Challenge, I weigh 14.2 pounds. I suspect I could lose more if I was more active, but cats are supposed to be lazy, right? I can't help it if I'm genetically predisposed to have laying in bed be my favorite activity.